Each time we gain something we may lose something.
For some this loss or potential of loss is more important than the potential of what the gain may bring.
They rather lose then gain.
However,
When gain is disconnected from what was lost, this gain will include disconnection and loss.
The more they gain in this way, the more they will have disconnection and create more loss.
Gaining with disconnection brings emptiness and hunger. Hunger for more empty gaining.
It leaves a cold heart searching for an unattainable warmth.
This hunger craves to fill the empty spaces of what was lost. It is a hunger that annihilates all sense of fulfillment and joy with each new gain.
On the other hand, those who prefer to stay with loss feel it is more important and virtuous, they may get addicted to the broken heart and turn their backs on gain.
They keep losing what can be gained.
When this repeats, they will have the sense that nothing can be gained and life is loss.
After some time they may forget what gain is.
But!
The opportunity to gain is always there.
So how does one gain and stay connected, connected to the sense of advancement, fulfillment and achievement, connected to their heart?
If one could gain and stay connected to what was lost, staying in-touch with the pain, fear or guilt that may arise towards loss, in a way saying to loss:
“I move forward, now is my time, I keep my connection with you and I remember you as I progress…”
This is gaining with connection. Gaining with connection is a fuller way of moving forward. It brings a sense of grounding and maturing with each new gain.
Mourning fully the loss is another way of enabling gain with connectedness.
When one mourns fully what has been lost, then he stays connected to it in a freeing way.
The process of mourning brings a connection to the special relationship with what was lost. This also helps in moving forward in a connected way.
Gain & loss go together;
Connecting to GAIN is the way forward to the future,
Connecting to LOSS and past, keeps the heart whole,
Together they are –
CONTINUOUS PRESENT.
Yishai Gaster