Each time we gain something we may lose something.
For some people this loss or this potential of loss is more important than the potential of what the gain might bring.
They rather lose what they may gain, and stay with what potentially can be lost.
On the other hand, when they gain and they disconnect from what they have lost, their gain includes within it disconnection and loss. This disconnection will always be with them with whatever they gain. The more they gain in this way the more they have disconnection.
Gaining with disconnection brings emptiness and hunger. Hunger for more and more gaining. This hunger craves to fill the empty spaces of what was lost. It is a hunger that eats into the sense of fulfillment with each gain.
Those who stay with what might be lost, who stay connected to what might have been lost and feel it more important or virtuous – they turn their backs on gain. They lose what they could have gained. When this repeats, they will have the sense that nothing can be gained and life is a loss.
After some time they may lose the will to gain, they may lose the ability to gain. Each time there is a potential for gain, it is lost very quickly because of what originally could have been lost.
However, the opportunity to gain is always there.
So how does one gain and stay connected to the sense of gain, which then may bring the sense of connectedness, advancement, ffulfillmentand achievement.
If one could gain and stay connected to what can be lost or is lost, while staying in-touch with the pain, fear or guilt that may arise towards the loss, in a way saying to what can be lost:
“I move forward, now is my time, I keep my connection with you and I remember you as I progress”,
This is gaining with connection. Gaining with connection is a fuller way of moving forward. It brings a sense of grounding and maturing with each new gain.
Mourning fully the loss is another way of enabling gain with connectedness. When one mourns what has been lost, then in a way he stays connected to it in a freeing way. The process of mourning brings a connection to the special relationship with what is lost. This also helps in moving forward in a connected way.
Gain & loss go together;
Gain is the way forward to the future. Loss is the connection to the past.
Together they are a connection to a continuous present.